Down in Devon

I'm now in Devon staying with my sister and her family. London was hard. I spent three days with a girl I met last year who recently broke up with her fiance. I had no idea but the night I arrived she confessed to me that she had attempted suicide twice in the past couple of months. Oh brilliant, just what I need. Not only that, her way of coping is to drink. Not what I wanted to be doing.

The night I arrived we went out until about 2am. The next day lunch started at 1:30pm and ended (many drinks later) at 10:30pm and the following day was drinks for dinner. I left on Tuesday morning feeling toxic and depressed.

Coming to Devon was a great idea and I think I should have avoided London. I'm worried about meeting C's friend in case he tells me something I don't want to know (ie Oh, I heard you had broken up, sorry about that). I realise I'm in denial but that's my perogative. Until I hear it from C, I'm still hopeful there's a chance we can work things out.

Devon is all fresh air and small children and makes me realise that all I really want is a simple life. I don't want to live in London, it's too stressful and everyone drinks too much. I would like to go for walks, buy fresh vegetables and just breathe. So I need to decide how to make money and support this filthy habit!

C and I have maintained communication (texting) which is better than nothing so I'm encouraged that at least we're still talking in some sense. He is still in Florida but will be heading to the boat in the next couple of days. After that I have no idea what's next.

So I'm feeling ok. Still very unsure but less unstable than I was in London. Who knows what tomorrow holds but hopefully it'll be simple pleasures, small children, family and good food. I can't hope for much more than that.