Focus on money

Since C and I officially went our separate ways I have had to face the reality of money or to be honest, a complete lack of it. C was helping me for a long time while I focused on setting up my product line (which can't support me at the moment.) I counted up everything I had, counted it again and panicked! Seriously panicked. If I ate nothing, paid the bills, fed Pig and never went out I figured I could survive for six months assuming I couldn't get any work.

Then I added up everything I had again and realised that I'd been a bit optimistic and that realistically (given Pig's medical bills) that I was looking at about 4 months. I panicked again and kept panicking for a while.

My friend kindly offered me her spare room if things got so bad I was evicted. At the age of 39 it's hard to imagine having to move into someone's spare room or having to move in with my parents. Yikes!

It was time to send out some resumes and start asking people for help. One thing I've learned this year is that I can't do this on my own. In the past I've soldiered on, me against the world fighting to survive. Well not anymore. Now I ask for help. I've emailed friends, colleagues and clients asking for work or to keep me in mind. Begging but trying not to appear desperate as that always has the kiss of death.

So this week I had an interview and a positive response. I've swallowed my pride and I'm starting again because pride does not pay the bills. The interview went well and they want me to do some freelance work to see how things go. That's encouraging and I am trying not to count my chickens. I also picked up a small freelance project doing some work for friends so it's one day at a cheery time.

I'm off to New York this week for a meeting with a publisher but the fact is that my product line is going to be a part time thing after this week as Pig needs to have her medication and weekly vet bills paid for, and I might need to eat occasionally!