Self indulgent drama queen

I've realised that one of my favourite bloggers is, in fact, a self-indulgent drama queen.

I followed her story through infertility, problems in her relationship, her terribly traumatic birth story which went on and on, her longed-for daughter not fulfilling her dreams, ongoing sleep stories about the baby not sleeping and now finally, the break up of her relationship which promises to keep her going for a long time to come.

I read the blog post and wondered how her partner felt. She got the baby she'd wanted, she'd moaned continually for a year and I assume the poor man had had enough.

I feel there is a lesson in this for me. I have been self-indulgent in my misery. My relationship issues, my unemployment, the health problems of the pig; it's all been fodder for my own personal dramas. I feel there's a tiny chink of light at the end of what has felt like a very long, dark tunnel. The last few months have been one of the worst periods of depression I've been through and I feel I am slowly and very cautiously starting to poke my head out of my shell. As one horoscope said "You're not out of the woods yet" true, but there's nothing wrong with a tentative, hesitant baby step out into the world.

I have withdrawn from almost everyone during this time. I have been in seclusion and while it may seem extreme it's been the right thing to do. I needed to stop talking to people who weren't supportive about my personal life. My family has stood by me and I feel a closeness to them which wasn't there before.

Today I decided to give myself six months in which to make a move out of Los Angeles. I've been struggling to know where to go but the reality is if I want to leave then I need to make that decision and if I can't make the decision then the problem is me.