I'm focusing on staying busy (or at least trying to) but the nights are bad. As soon as my head hits the pillow I hear C's voice repeating his news. I run over things again and again, how could I have been different? why didn't it work? why didn't he want to try again? but there's no answer and no solution.
The pain is back and it's bad. I try not to cry outside the house and I'm doing a fair job of getting by but it hurts and I worry that there won't be anyone else I love.
I feel so empty inside.
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