And so much for blogging

It appears that my attempts at blogging went by the wayside during the rest of 2009 and almost all of 2010. In some respects things improved. I started teaching design in July 2009 and work for money picked up for a few months and then since January of this year I've been working almost full time. I met a man in August last year who has pursued me doggedly but despite attempting to remain open minded there is a lack of chemistry that, try as I might, I just can't get past. I don't find him attractive and he irritates me with his conservative thinking and general lack of humour. There is a lack of laughter between us and considering my wit is one of the best things about me (it's starting to come back) I am missing an audience. He lives in Copenhagen and I keep assuring him that I have no intention of moving there. I have always wanted to live in Paris at some point in my life, but Copenhagen has never been part of the fantasy.

My self esteem is good, I'm looking better than I've ever looked (in my humble and modest opinion) despite having recently celebrated my 41st birthday but there's a hole in my life and I'm frustrated as I'm continuing to live a half life in LA.

I have fallen out with friends over the past year. A woman who I thought was a friend chose to stay friends with C knowing how much he had hurt me. In the same situation I would have ended the acquaintance in order to honour the friendship. She chose not to discuss the end of our friendship instead choosing to delete me from Facebook and Skype. I hope it's worth it.

For the first time this week I have considered moving to the East coast. Pig has been ill and faced with the prospect of her dying I know I need to make choices for myself not based on an emotional reaction or doing something for someone else. I have sent out resumes to two companies so far this week with the idea being that I might go and look at Rhode Island. Crazy idea but there's a strategy for the first time. I'm contacting companies who can use my international background as they have European offices. I am ready for a new challenge and I'm tired of treading water here in LA. I'm doing work which isn't challenging me, I'm down to a handful of friends and I'm ready (as I have been for a while) for a change. The difference now is that I'm not running away. I'm making an informed choice based on not wanting to spend the rest of my life living here. I started to feel excited yesterday. Rhode Island is a sailing mecca where there are bays and islands. I could get back into sailing on my own terms, maybe row and kayak. House prices are reasonable and I could get Pig there by driving across country.

So I have it all sorted out in my mind. I just need a job to entice me to go.